2 posts tagged “toronto”

I've been meaning to post these for awhile, now seems like as good a time as any. Whenever I think of my hometown, I think of these four songs: three here, and one that I couldn't find in video form- Maestro Fresh-Wes' classic 416/905. (Those numbers are our city's area codes, plus 647 that didn't exist back in the day of this song.) And yes, I do know that the Rascalz are from the west coast, but Choclair's in it, so that's why I've absconded with it.

 

One more thing: shout out to the hottest thing in Canadian hip hop right now - my good friend Miles Jones

I have a weird confession to make. In the 3.5 years I've been married, today was the first time for me to go grocery shopping by myself. Truth is, Dog does most of the shopping (because he does most of the cooking; fabulously might I add) and though we do often go together, mostly I awaken to discover that the mystical white box has been filled with all types of eateries, without any involvement from me. I'm kind of spoiled in that regard.

ANYWAY, today was different. Our loft is spotless from floor to ceiling because we had clients in all weekend (actually, one client, which I will get to in a moment**) and hence, the domicile needed to be clean. Since it's one giant 1600 square foot freezing cold concrete box (recently a button factory), if you're going to clean any of it, you've got to clean all of it since everything's hanging out in the open (except the bathroom, it has walls). Because it was clean, I felt like baking. Because I felt like baking, I discovered that we were out of flour. Because I had to go to the store, I figured that I might as well make it worth my time by buying non-floury products in addition, and so I gathered my little purple purse and hopped into the lil' SUV that I never drive because I hate driving in Toronto, and I drove to the store.

I walked in, and felt like a Lilliputian in a regular-sized world. It was crowded, and I felt very disoriented (despite the fact that I shop there regularly with Dog) and I couldn't find the tofu. I shopped for 2 hours, filled my yellow cart with the infuriating wheels that refused to drive straight, became famished and began to snack on products in my cart, and lined up to pay. Next came the realization of a nightmare I've been oppressed by for years. The checkout clerk ran everything in (including items with mysterious chomps out of them) and I handed her my credit card. Then she said, "Sorry Miss, we don't take VISA, just MasterCard." What.the.heck. I looked for my debit card, and seeing its empty slot in the wallet made me tremendously nostalgic for our times together.

So then I frantically dug through my purse, hoping that a MasterCard, fully verified and sporting my name and signature, had miraculously materialized inside without me having to apply for one, sign it, or call the 1-800 number. Sadly, it was not the case. By this point, there were ten sighing Canadians behind me in the line and my face was as red as a tomato. "Sorry, so sorry" I heard my pitiful self mutter dejectedly. The clerk pointed me in the direction of the ATM and I bolted there, realizing on the way that this is not particularly helpful for a person who has forgotten their debit card. I thrust my VISA into the slot, and came face to face with the very annoying screen of "Please enter your PIN." I was like, it's not a freaking debit card, it has no PIN, but I gave the machine the benefit of the doubt and entered any PIN I've ever used for anything at all. In hindsight, that may not have been the best plan of action, as the machine promptly gobbled up my card in the name of protecting it from me, and left me lacking YET ANOTHER card. I rushed back to the line of people I was holding up, uttered ten more apologies, stared at the floor in panicked humiliation and told the clerk, "I guess you'll have to put it all back." Which would normally be fine, except that there were bite marks in some organic flatbreads from when I'd thought, "oh, I'll just have a little snack. I'm gonna pay for it in a moment; no one will mind."

I was preparing for my run of humiliation, belly full of stolen flatbreads, when I inadvertently discovered something wonderful - my debit card! I'd tucked the sweet angel into another part of my wallet earlier in the week. I purchased the food products, threw it all hastily into a giant toilet paper box because I've boycotted plastic bags, and made a run for the car. I heaved it inside, started the engine, and zoomed out of the parking lot, convinced that everyone within a 200-yard radius had seen what had happened and was ridiculing me with their eyes. Unfortunately, it had rained a bit while I was living through the debacle, and there were rain drops on the windshield that I wanted to disperse, but I couldn't figure out how to turn on the front wipers, though the back ones were going at the speed of light. Normally, I would have stayed put and read the manual (the car is new to us, and still foreign) but I was certain that the people I'd inconvenienced would see me still there and think, "There's that dumb girl who held us all up, is too financially-irresponsible to pay for food without great difficulty, and LOOK, she drives an SUV and is singlehandedly responsible for melting the polar ice-caps." So, I zoomed off, being as careful as possible not to strike down any pedestrians who might be hiding behind a raindrop.

If I ever have the nerve to return to that store, I will need to be in disguise. More likely, I'll just allow my darling husband to do the shopping, as it makes him happy, and I am obviously not well-suited to the task. Little Cat, the most pathetic person ever!

 

 

**Our client is our neighbour, who is an internationally-renowned painter from Croatia. Dog, a photographer, was taking pictures of her paintings for a catalogue for her new show. The paintings were absolutely stunning, and I'm not the only one to think so considering that they routinely sell for $20 000.00. However, she's been in our studio critiquing Dog's colour adjustments from yesterday morning to 20 minutes ago, which is why she seems like more than one client. It's a good thing we love her! (Totally do!)

 

Now, for the disclaimers:

1. To be clear, the water droplets were an inconvenience, not the cause of any real danger. I could still see fine. No Torontonians were injured.

2. Dog may cook more, but I'm the family baker.

3. I didn't want the SUV, but Dog needed it for our business. He's got a lot of equipment, and usually shoots on-site. (This is also why our studio is usually pig-den-like.) It's not that big - it's a little Nissan, but I still feel guilty about it.